Psychological abuse

There are many types of abuse. Many of them are obviously cruel. Emotional abuse is more subtle. Such abuse goes unseen, as even the victim does not recognize that she is being abused. What is more, psychological abuse does not leave black eyes or visible bruises. It damages self-esteem. Quite often psychological abuse goes together with physical and sexual abuse. So in short, emotional or psychological abuse involves any behavior, verbal or nonverbal, that negatively impacts another person’s emotional or psychological well being.

So first of all, I would like to speak about causes. One of the reasons, that psychological abuse could be a way to show your power that you can control other person. Person who is abusing, may be feeling and powerless. Other reason may be perpetrators were often emotionally abused as children, but not all emotionally abused children become abusers. Third reason, emotional abuse occurs, because of traditional male-female roles, where woman is like a man’s property. Also, physiological and sexual abuse cause emotional once.

Secondly, I would like to speak, how to recognize emotional abuse. There are physical and behavioral indicators. Physical indicators are: significant weight loss, stress-related conditions, including elevated blood pressure. Behavioral indicators are: victim has problems with sleep; exhibits depression or confusion; is emotionally upset, agitated, non-responsive, exhibits unusual behavior and so on. What is more abusers often try to isolate victims from outside world. Try control victims where she goes, whom she speaks to and what she does. Perpetrators can forbid for the victim to use telephone, communicate with friends or visit her family. Many abusers say that such their behavior is proof of their love. However, they only want to isolate victims to feels secure themselves.

How can victims help for themselves? If person doe not know exactly is she abused, she can talk with friends or relatives, whose opinion he trust. Also, remind yourself that you have the right to a life free of abuse. Take activities that you enjoy. Try to become independent of abuser: have a separate bank account, try getting a job.

References: http://www.preventelderabuse.org/elderabuse/psychological.html
http://www.calss.utoronto.ca/pamphlets/emotional_abuse.htm

Stress and coping

Everybody experienced that unpleasant phenomena - stress. It is a part of our life that we can not avoid. In short, stress is a physical and emotional reaction that everyone experiences as he or she encounters changes in life . This reaction can have positive and negative affects.
First of all, I would like to speak about stress affects. Most of people think that stress has only negative consequences, but is not true. Stress has positive affects when it makes us deal constructively with daily problems and meet the challenges. Accordingly scientists, stress is our body reaction to sudden changes in environment. When person face with stressor, many physiological reactions start in the body: an increase in heart rate and muscle tension, higher blood pressure. Such physical and emotional reactions help us by increasing our concentration and other bodily functions in order to prepare for challenge. This type of stress is called “challenges”; “good stress”; “acute stress”.
On the other hand, stress also has and negative consequences, when situations that cause physical and emotional stress reaction are non-stopping or perceived a non-stopping. The body never gets a chance to relax. This type of situation is called “bad stress” or “chronic stress”.
What is more, never ending stress can cause many diseases: high blood pressure, which can cause heart problems such as heart attacks; also can cause migraine headaches; back pain and sometimes cancer. Several studies have associated stress with a weak immune system.
So when there is so difficult situation, people need try to manage stress. When person is unable to identify the source of his stress or anxiety and if condition continues or comes and goes, person have seek medical care.
There are many ways how to manage stress:
The first step is to learn to recognize when you are feeling stressed. The next step is to choose a way to deal with stress. One way is avoidance of stressor, but it is not always possible. A second way is to change how to react to stress.
Finally, I would like to say that the best medicine, that reduce stress, is smile more and positive view at life. So smile more!!!

Reference : http://www.emedicinehealth.com/stress/article_em.htm

Listening online to podcasts

I have chosen tasks for listening from bbc website, because , in my opinion, it is responsible and high level news website. I listened two podcasts: ”Why processed meat might be linked to cancer?”; “Money: BP Fined – 26 Oct 07”. I listened both texts two times , because it helped to seek complete understanding. When I listened first time, I didn’t understand all words and catch only main idea of a text, so I wrote down unknown words in my notes and found translation in dictionary. So, when I listened the next time podcast, it was easier to understand everything. Unfortunately, there weren’t transcripts of listening tasks, however, were summaries of both texts. I have read summaries before listening, so it was easier to understand texts. In both podcasts level of English were advanced, speakers accent were British, so it was easier to understand, because I best know British English. Speaking about rate of speaking, it was on average, speakers did not speak too fast or slowly, it was not difficult to follow speech.
What is more, I would like to compare both listening tasks. The firs listening was easier, it takes 11 minutes, so it was not very long. Also. this text was about link between eating meet and cancer, so there were not a lot of difficult or some special area words. Also it was not difficult to follow speaker’s speech. Speaking about second text , “Money: BP Fined - 26 Oct 07”, it was more difficult then first one. First of all it took more time – 23 minutes. Also the text topics was more difficult and less familiar for me. It considered from three parts: about BP which has to pay £261 million in fines for a series of US law violations including price manipulation, site leaks in Alaska and the Texas City explosion; a report that suggests house prices could climb even further if new builds do not start sooner ; and about Miami Dolphins plans for world domination. There were many unfamiliar and unknown words but after second listening I understand more about what was spoken. What is more, it was easier, that there were three different topics, so it did not make boring to listen all 23 minutes podcast.

Psychology of laughter

One of the most pleasant expressions in our life is laughter. It is an expression or appearance of merriment or amusement. Laughter can be warm and sincere or angry and sly; it depends on our mood, thoughts, feelings and so on. So I would like to speak about some aspects of laughter.

Speaking about nature of laughter, there are many different theories about it. One of them is the Classical theory of laughter. One of the most famous philosophers in Greece, Aristotle, was one of this theories author. He said, that human being are the only creatures that laugh. According him, mirth induced by jesting is always an expression of contempt. If we find ourselves laughing at others, it will because they exhibit some fault or mark of shame which, while not painful, makes them ridiculous.

What is more, in Renaissance the Classical theory of laughter was a little bit changed. It analyzed psychological aspects of laughter. Renaissance theorists suggested, that born of happiness and delight and passion moving us to laughter must always be related in some way to joy. What is more, they also agree with Aristotle in some aspects, that laughter always arise from contemplation of deeds or sayings which have an appearance of ugliness. After Renaissance, psychologists started to consider, that maybe our laughter is not always an expression of scorn. They suggested, that men laugh when something happens which is at once pleasant and new and our mirth ends either when the feelings novelty, or else the feeling of pleasure, wears off.

Moreover, some modern theories of laughter are more positive about mirth and predict that it is not only the human feature: some animals also laugh. Like chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, rats and dogs.

Everybody understands that laughter has good effect for us. Dr. Lee and fellow researcher Dr. Stanley have been studying the effects of laughter on the immune system. Their studies shows laughing lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, increases muscles flexion and boosts immune function. Also, it produces a general sense of well-being.

To sum up, the laughter maybe and have some negative aspects of its nature, but, in my opinion, laughter arises most from some positive things and people must laugh more, because it makes our life more beautiful.

Soursces:
http://fds.oup.com/www.oup.co.uk
http://www.holisticonline.com

Psychology of conflicts

Everybody knows that unpleasant phenomenon, conflict. Conflict is a state of opposition, disagreement or incompatibility between two or more people or groups of people, which sometimes characterized by physical violence. It is a clash of two different tendencies that cause strong, unpleasant feelings. However, conflicts are part of our life that we can not avoid. But sometimes we forget that conflict has a good side also, it is a stimulus of changes and progress. During clashes we can know more about others and about ourselves.

Speaking about variations in conflicts, there are four different kinds of it: interpersonal, person – group, inter-group and internal.

Interpersonal conflict- it is disagreement between people that are reaching different goals, have different opinions and moral values. This conflict is in almost all spheres of human relationships – in family, organization or at work. Interpersonal conflicts are very emotional.

„Person – group” conflict – it is a clash, when personal and group’s motives face. It is caused by different views of person and group. The most common occur, when person does not care about group’s norms.

Inter-group conflicts – it is conflicts when groups interests, values and purposes face. It can be conflicts between school administration and teachers, between classes and so on.

Internal conflict - it does not have subject of conflict – neither persons , nor groups. Conflict is caused by different person opinions, values, needs, interests, ideals.

The most difficult kind of conflicts is internal conflict. Kurt Levine distinguished three kinds of it:

Desire – desire - conflict, when people have to choose one thing from two pleasing alternatives;

Avoidance- avoidance- it is conflicts, when person has to choose one thing from two unpleasant alternatives;

Desire – avoidance – when the same goal has two sides: good and bad.

Sometimes internal conflicts can cause phobias, depression or stress. When such kind of conflict is not solved out, person can have some psychological problems. It is very often, when person does not understand, that he has internal conflict. Sometimes this conflict can be hidden by euphoria or active work. If we want to solve out this problem, first, we have to realize that we have such conflict and then try to find the solutions.

What is more, it is very important to manage conflicts. So there two different kinds of conflicts management: constructive and unconstructive behavior.

Steps of constructive behavior:

1. When you hear a charge for you, let to say person all charges and do not disturb him.

2.You and your opponent have to concrete complaints, that it would be easier to understand situation.

3. You have to agree that opponent have right to say his charges. It does not mean to agree with charges, but agree that everybody have a right to express their opinion.

4. You should say your opinion about this situation with clear arguments.

5. Finally, you and your opponent have to analyze situation and try to find compromise. It would be easier, because after all these steps opponent calm down and think more rationally.

Also, there are steps of unconstructive behavior that are not as good as constructive one.

1. Disagreemant with charges.

2. Derogation of opponent.

3. Disregard of opponent’s charges

All these steps can make conflict more complicated; however, people often use these steps.

To sum up, I would like to say , that conflicts are not so bad if we know, how to solve it constructive or how to find it benefits.

References: http://www.crinfo.org/action/browse.jsp?nid=1999

Emotional intelligence


We all have heard many things about intelligence, that there are some intelligence tests that help to know what your level of intelligence is. However, not everybody know that there are various kinds of intelligence. One of them is emotional intelligence. It describes an ability, capacity, or skill to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. So I would like to tell some aspects about it.
First of all, I would like to speak about emotional literacy. It is the ability to express feelings with specific words, for example: I feel criticized / unimportant / disrespected/ bored and so on. Emotional intelligence helps us to identify and communicate our feelings. Emotional intelligent people better overcoming difficulties and they are generally able to control their moods. What is more, it is easier for them to communicate, make friends or get close with others. Also, they are empathic for others, they better understand other people feelings, can support them and cheer up, when somebody is sad. So it is very important to care our feelings.
Secondly, I would like to speak about other important aspect, emotional needs. Speaking about it, there are five main groups of emotional needs. First is esteem needs, it means being happy with yourself, for example if your dream to have a family, getting married will make you happy. Second is a social need that includes the need of social acceptance, prestige and access to certain people. What is more, there is a spiritual need, such people need to believe that there is life after death and their existence has a purpose. And last is safety needs.
What is more, there are some emotional intelligence tests that show how much you are emotional. Personally, I have done one and results show, that my emotional intelligence is above average. It was mentioned that people who score like I do feel that their ability to understand and deal with their own emotions and those of others is just barely acceptable. In my opinion, such tests aren’t very high quality, because there were many similar answers and I was difficult to choose one. What is more, I think only person knows how emotional she or he is, because it is very subjective thing.
What is more, I would like to speak about feelings. It is impossible to count how many feelings are. However, we can make two groups of feelings: positive (amazed, confident, energetic, glad, inspired, optimistic, relieved, surprised, comfortable, fulfilled, thankful, trusted) and negative (angry, irritated, reluctant, annoyed, lonely, puzzled, helpless, nervous, uncomfortable, confused, embarrassed). Also there much more feelings, but is difficult to say all, because we are very dynamic and have enormous amount feelings.

So finally, I would like to say, that it is very important to understand our feelings and emotions and don`t be upset if emotional intelligence test will show, that your level aren`t very high, because only you know, how sensitive you are.

References :

http://www.eiconsortium.org/research/what_is_emotional_intelligence.htm

http://eqi.org/history.htm

Queue psychology

Nowadays, when people are always in a hurry, queue is a very common event. You can see this phenomena everywhere: in shops, hospitals , banks , roads and so on. The most embarrassing thing of queues is empty time, when you have to stand and don’t have what to do. There are some ways how to make standing on line not so boring. Firstly, places, where are a lot of queues, could play usually music, than customers don’t think, that they are loosing time. Also, there could be free newspapers or magazines for clients. Furthermore, there are also could be ability to watch television. So these ways will help to attract customer’s attention, that they will not notice wasting time. Secondly, such places should make something, that clients feel comfortable. They should make enough seats that people don’t have to stand. What is more, there shouldn’t be cold or hot, where people are standing on line.


References : http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/s112601.htm